I love college. Obviously. I’ve been either a student or a professional in higher education for going on 12 years now. (Fuck me running. Twelve? Pffft. I don’t look a GD day over 29.) Ideally, it’s a place where a student matures both analytically and socially into, fingers crossed, a maturely reasoning adult who can make critical decisions of his own volition, and not just because someone told him to do so <insert Fox News rant here>. I will always defend the concepts of tenure and academic freedom; the promotion of a college education is something I believe should be instilled in every student from the word “go”; and while college may not be for everyone, everyone should at least have access to some form of it.
Seriously, just walking onto campus every day gives me squishy guts.
So when I see shit like this, of course nothing short of a rage blackout will ensue. C’mon now. Have we met?
Let it be known: I have nothing against Christianity, or any religion for that matter, or even religiously affiliated colleges (as long as they provide a whole education). And while I defected from Catholicism what seems like ages ago to the chagrin of my Italian-Catholic (bestower of the most virulent strain of Catholic guilt onto their progeny) mother, I’d still consider myself somewhat spiritual, subscribing to the church of Don’t Be a Giant Asshole to Others.
(And I’m not saying that my Jack-Catholic status grants me some sort of allowance to pass judgment or anything. Pffft. As if I need allowance to pass judgment. Hello? It’s called human nature, and judgy-wudgy was a bear. Of course I’m going to pass judgment. After that, it’s up to you to make me not think you’re an idiot.)
Ready? Break!
A) I would kick a puppy to see something that was informative and convincing without the use of such transparent fucking rhetoric that, honestly, borders on propaganda. Showing only scowling, old, male instructors? The ominous music? That really sophisticated pie graph that I’m sure is just the epitome of quantitativeness? Poor Jay, suffering in persecution as images of Vitruvian Man and The Thinker (DaVinci and Rodin totally had an agenda, yo.) attack him at warp speed? Hey, renob: showing misappropriated news footage in an effort to demonstrate how “experts” and “facts” have been wrong throughout history in order to support your conclusion that all science is wrong is not only a Communications Studies cardinal sin called a fallacy (in particular, affirming the consequent), it’s as unethical as the day is long: people predicting an ice age in the “1970′s” (apparently, that weatherman in the leisure suit predicted it for an entire decade [and misuse-of-an-apostrophe alert!]), because they were not clairvoyant, could not foresee the ridiculous spike in global warming that our world population of 7 billion monster consumers would cause in four ensuing decades; and doctors, of course, promoted cigarettes, as Big Tobacco had a major stake in benefiting from the medical community doing so, and they paid it handsomely.
B) Obviously, science is wrong at times. One has to be wrong in order to get to being right. Did Pasteur hit it on the first shot? No. Should he have stopped trying? Take a swig of milk and you tell me. And it’s just like religion. Or does Christianity just hope people are going to forget about the Medieval, Roman, and Spanish Inquisitions; the witch trials; thousands of years of the dogmatic engendering and perpetuating of discrimination; and Timothy McVeigh?
C) ”Don’t let this happen to you”? What, get an education? Be forced to analytically think about what your statements convey? Be open-minded to cognitive change at a moment in your life when critical, post-adolescent development of identity actually occurs? Or should I just read a bunch of academic language that sounds intelligent, not analyze the source (or who is funding the source), and take it at face value because an “authority” told me I should? College fail.
“You mean that abortion, cigarettes, and interracial dating, concepts omitted from the bowdlerized dictionary decreed as Truth published by the Bob Jones UP (the only tract of its kind allowed on campus), actually exist in this world?”
The implication that college is a big, frightening place where professors brow-beat you into agreement with their thoughts and their thoughts only; where you’re going to fall prey to the secular world, hit a frat party, and ruin your paragon-of-virtue existence; where you’ll be persecuted because you call yourself a Christian; and where you’ll have falsities, disguised as “facts” shoved down your throat (yes, the Family actually exists, and your PoliSci class is not controlled by demonic forces because you learned about it there) is beyond annoying.
Are all professors ideal? No, and you’re allowed to call them out on their bullshit, as long as you can back it up. Are you forced to go to a frat party? No, and if you say you are in order to ”fit in,” you’re a sheep and you deserve to be smacked upside your damn head. Will you be persecuted? No, asking you (and the College Republicans) to defend what you say is not persecution, it’s called argumentation, and it’s a skill necessary in life if you ever want to live with your head out of the sand. Are you going to come in contact with theories that rock your world and cause you to rethink what you’ve been told all of your life? Yes. It’s called an education.
Welcome to college.
